laughs, thoughts, fears, tears

sometimes i wish i could go back in time and fight for the things i let slip away, fight for the friendships that got screwed up,
fight for the spotlight in certain dances,
fight for my control with groups,
and especially fight for the relationship i always wanted.

makes me think what would of happened if i had
spoken up and told my friend i didnt want to stop talking,
or tell my instructor i want to be in the front,
or yell at the students from day one who wernt taking class seriously,  
or told the girl who let me down that i only wanted to be with her and wanted to make her happy for the rest of her life… i wonder what life would be like…

i guess im living in the ‘What If’s’ right now…
it sucks, but its very dangerous going out on a limb and hoping to God that the branch your standing on dosnt snap and send you falling to your doom…
my brain tells me to play it safe and respect others decisions…

but months after, my heart still feels the same and can only think about the ‘What If’s’ 

could have
would have
should have



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